The rememorization of Mr and Mrs Granger
by galatea-hhr
Summary: Iris Potter, Hector Granger and Ron Weasley head on a most unperilous journey to Australia to rememorize Hector's parents of his existence. Post-war fem!Harry/male!Hermione romance. Good!Ron. Liberal use of em dashes.


"Fuck," Iris Potter whispered under her breath.

Hector Granger sighed.

"Bloody hell," Ron said.

"Ron, Iris," Hector scolded

The saccharine voice in the speakers of the Sydney airport had just announced that luggage arrivals would be delayed for an undetermined amount of time.

"Can't we just summon our luggage?" Ron whispered to Hector.

"You'd break several paragraphs of the statute of secrecy to summon your luggage?"

"Yes."

"Can we get Shawarma or something?" Iris asked absently, looking into the throng of people passing past.

"Hector. I can beat you in chess again."

"Ron, your chess set is in your luggage."

"Yes, but if we use legilimency —"

"I'm gonna go look for some food," Iris said.

* * *

"So," Ron said, "we're gonna have that discussion about you and Iris —"

Hector closed his eyes. "In the airport, Ron?" he asked painfully.

"Yes, in the airport."

Hector made a strangled noise.

"Shush. Stop acting like i've set fire to Ulick Gamp's collection of Books most Anciente and Unread. Come on, let's —"

"Ulick, in fact, donated his entire library to the Wizengamot archives in 1717, Ron," Hector said. "In fact, the war fame has given me enough wiggle room to —"

"Mate, you can't just avoid it by talking about library planning or coefficients of jellyfish transmogrification by Alfric Goofball."

"Uric oddball —"

"Hector."

Hector sighed and looked out at the people walking past.

"What the hell is stopping you from telling her how you feel?"

"Well," Hector scoffed, "if she doesn't like me back? What then? What if I make everything awkward? I'd be ruining the most important friendship of my life."

"But are you gonna continue this for another 3 years? Are you gonna end up in a relationship with somebody else? Bugger, you'd probably do that too to hide how you felt."

Hector looked sullenly at him.

"And what about her? Will she get in a relationship with some twat while you melodramatically transfigure yourself into a pine tree?"

"Preferably pine than not know her at all," he ground out.

"Do you really think it's that impossible for her to be attracted to you, Hector?"

"I certainly find it a stretch of my imagination, yes. I'm not exactly the crowning achievement of a dashing romantic image. Obsessively overthinking, criminally compulsive? Just the thing."

"Hector, shut your mouth, you're literally the best person for her. Like — I — what the hell are you on? Have you been doing unlicensed potion innovation again?" Ron asked, suspiciously.

"Those experiments were perfectly safe, Ron."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Listen, you have had too many crushes coming your way to say you're hopeless. And who else will she be with who actually understands her for who she is? You know that's what she'd most want."

Hector looked away. "Of course I do, abstractly, but it's such a risk to take, Ron. What if she can't feel anything, what if she simply isn't attracted to me, even if I fulfill the cognitive category of not viewing her as the Girl—Who—Lived?"

"The cogni what?"

"Even despite our best intentions, it might make the friendship cripplingly awkward and halted, unnatural. Or she'll be afraid of dating anybody else she actually gets attracted to out of fear of breaking my heart, and both of us become miserable sods. I don't want to do that to us, and I don't want to hold her back."

"Alright, so I simply ask her how she feels about you."

Hector looked at him in wariness and hope. "Ron…."

Hector sighed. "I have thought of that — of asking you to do that…"

"And you haven't because ….?"

"What if the answer is no?" Hector smiled grimly. "Some Gryffindor I am."

""Hector!" they both heard a girl's voice call from across the hall. Iris was walking towards them with five shawarma wraps.

"That was quick," Hector whispered, furrowing his brows. "How did she get them so fast?"

Ron laughed, turned his voice into his Hector impression "Oh, well, Ron, she's just so beautiful that the cashier gave somebody else's order to her —""

"ARGH!" Hector had stepped on Ron's shoe.

Iris came up to them. "Boys, don't fight. Here." She passed one wrap to Hector and three to Ron.

"We weren't fighting," Ron muttered, peering into his three wraps.

"It was a minor disagreement," Hector said.

Iris peered up under her eyelashes at Hector. "Mmn."

"This was the exact filling I wanted." Ron said, looking at his very pretty prime rib—filled shawarma.

Iris tried to say something, but neither of them could understand any of it, due to her mouth being filled with food.  
"Iris, have some decorum, please," Hector sighed.  
Iris took an even huge bite in an attempt to annoy Hector. Sadly, when she tried to speak, she ended up breaking into laughter, the others with her.

"Did I interrupt anything?" she asked, laughing still.

"No," "Yes," Hector and Ron said.

"Great," Iris said.

"About that wizarding chess, Hector —"

This was the moment Ron Weasley realized he had forgotten to add Muggle—Repelling Charms to his walking magical luggage.

* * *

"We haven't even been in this country for 40 minutes and you've already endangered their Statute of Secrecy!" Hector hissed into Ron's ear, having just obliviated ten very confused tarmac workers.

"I think what you mean to say Hector is 'Thank you so much Ronald Weasley for getting me my luggage so quickly, for otherwise I would have waited in the airport for hours. You are my hero and a Gentlewizard."

Hector jabbed his elbow into him.

"Ow!"


End file.
